“You are a stupid and reckless disgrace to the Timelords.”

That does sound like me. “What is this? Where are we?”

“Outside Time. A fitting and necessary precaution, to protect all we have sworn to preserve from the likes of you, and when I say ‘we’ have preserved, consider yourself exempt.”

“……this isn’t possible. We can’t be outside Time, and you – you of all people – cannot be here.”

I took a quick glance around my surroundings, to find none. No Earth, no Aloy, no Odyssey, no corrupted machines, nor indeed anything at all. Just him. Had to be him. The person I hate secondly most of all. (First place going to his/her Doctorate, of course).

I raised my right hand and snapped my fingers, right in his obnoxious and all-knowing face, yielding no reaction. I held my middle finger up at him, a spare millimetre or two from his big nose, yielding an equal lack of reaction. I stayed that way for several enjoyable moments, swearing at him, in his unbecoming Elder outfit. How did we ever think crimson and headdresses were a good choice?

“All that shall die,” I said, “dies. All that shall live, still dies.”

No reaction.

“We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.”*

No reaction.

I chuckled. “A Time Out, then. I haven’t seen one of these since school. Your responses are limited, yes?”

“So you’re smart enough to figure that out, that’s some blessing.”

Timelords, master of shamelessly showing off, don’t resort to lectures and letters home to parents. Their disciplinary actions include removing the recalcitrant child from Time itself, for a damn good talking-to.

“Cheers, Rassilon. Hope you know we used to call them Clock Blockers.”

No reaction.

I sighed. “So, what’ve I done?”

“This Time Out has been established in response to anyone – with an infinitesimal sense of priority – who attempts time theft. You have somehow managed to overcome the limitations decided and effected by the Timelord Elders – people far more knowledgeable than you. You must understand the repercussions of your actions, and realise this power must be suppressed, indefinitely.”

“Yeah, fun as that sounds and all, I’m needed elsewhere.”

“Unfortunately, you may not leave this Time Out until the limitations have been reapplied. This can be a simple process-”

“Unfortunately for you, I figured out how to override Clock Blockers in the first term.”

No reaction.

And as if our bubble of anti-existence weren’t busy enough, FutureHH then materialised next to me.

Turns out three really is a crowd.



“Having fun?”

“I was. I suppose you’re here to spoil it.”

“Just for once, no. I wanted to relive this, but I can only be here while you are.”

“You materialised into Outside Time.”


“Without a TARDIS.”

“That I did.”


“You’ll find out.”

“Yeah, yeah, same as always.” I turned back to my other tormentor, whose corporeal form was starting to flicker. “Why didn’t I see him before?”

“I had over-ridden the Pause( ) one, before I gave it to you.”

“Anything good?”

“Not really. You are in for a right earful when it comes to abilities three and four, though.”

“Fine. If you’ll excuse me, I was about to utter Rassilon’s master password. Should close this glorified detention.”

“No need. It’s already tried to process the use of time theft – Greed( ) to you and I – added that to two versions of us, while in a pocket of Outside Time – a grand total of three impossibilities. This session is rapidly degenerating. You’ll be out of here in about six seconds.”

Sure enough, the projected version of Rassilon vanished before us.

“So that’s why you came here?”

“Oh, no, I just wanted to tell you to bend your knees.”


“And this Time Out kept you in a stasis field, so, just be ready to feel when you get out.”

“What- ”


Nothing turned back into everything. The darkness around me shattered back into the reality of Aloy’s version of planet Earth.

I noticed I was several feet off the ground.

I did manage to bend my knees, though.

Then Greed( ) caught up with me.


* Source: The Breakfast Club.


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